Sanity
by drdj2006
Summary: What would happen to Hermione if the boys had escaped Malfoy Manor with out her? Where would they take her? How long would she stay alive? Would she be rescued? When wold she be rescued and who would be the rescuer?  WARNING INSIDE PLEASE READ


BETA NOTE: This has been a while in the making and, would not have happened if it weren't for the help of my amazing beta, Sky King Haruka Tenoh. She helped me smooth out a few rough transitions and get it all ready to go. Thank you once more.

DISCLAMER: Not mine… not yet anyway. -Wicked Evil Grin-

_**WARNING: This story doses revolve around rape. It is never seen or described graphically. Still the topic is still a strong part of this story. There will be a bar containing a second smaller reminder warning. You have been warned I don't want to hear that you have not been. Thank you.**_

AN: So please read and enjoy let me know what you think the good the bad and all the in between.

A familiar buzzing and vibrating woke me from what little sleep I had been able to get. Under still closed eyelids I rolled my eyes then clenched them tightly shut. I did not want to deal with this again. I pulled my arms and legs struggling against the restraints that I knew held me in place. This was of no use; the magical bonds held firmly just as I knew they would. I opened my eyes to look around the room. Three of the four walls were white and one was clear Plexiglas; a rare find in the magical world. Being muggle-born meant I knew what it was, but chances were many pure bloods had no clue. Past the Plexiglas was a hallway that had a white tiled ceiling and a stainless steel floor that matched the room I was trapped in. Somehow, even after ten years of this I was still sane.

_The best that I could was that ten years earlier I had been taken prisoner by Bellatrix Lestrange. Upon imprisonment, I was tortured in ways I can't and don't wish to remember. My last act of magic was a memory charm on myself which erased everything from the time the torture started to the time it stopped. I remember being dropped off and tied to a chair while my body remained a mangled, maimed mess. I still carry the Mudblood scars carved into my arm, but I don't remember the pain or fear of receiving them. _

_Upon my arrival I was stripped of the tittered rags that remained on my body after Bellatrix had torn my clothes to shreds. Soon after, I was fitted with magical restraints that were impossible to unhook or rip through as they prevented me from doing any magic. Later on, I learned that they could hold me in place against my will no matter how I pulled at them, but at the same time these could be moved by someone else to hold me in different positions. I carried one around each wrist and ankle along with one around my neck. I felt like a bad version of a 24/7 slave in a BDSM B-rated low quality fun-to-make-fun-of porno. _

_I was sent to a group of medics who looked me over and cleaned the wounds I had come in with. Once done they started a very extensive exam including a dental and oral exam that surprised me seeing as the magical world didn't know much about dentistry. It continued with a vaginal exam which revealed to them that I was no longer a virgin, but whose to credit for that is a different and not so interesting story. Either way they weren't happy I wasn't a virgin for some reason. The worst part was the anal exam; I couldn't even begin to imagine what the hell all of it was for. After all the exams were done, they once again lay me on my back and spread my legs. I felt the tip of a wand on my clit followed by a cold sensation and an intense vibrating accompanied by a buzzing sound. It was maddening for a few moments then it stopped. _

_I was moved to a room made up like a prison cell; there was a bed with top and bottom bunks and a toilet and nothing else. The room was white, three white walls then a white tiled ceiling and a very cold looking stainless steel floor. I was dropped onto the bed and left with the sound of the door shutting and locking. I lay there and looked around confused lost and dazed as hell. I was in a prison. The war wasn't over and Harry and Ron were out fighting without me. I was lost to war. I had to get out. There was no question as to that, my only question was how. I had long since learned that magic was possible without a wand, it was just easer with one. I tried more spells than Harry and Ron know collectively with two different spell books in hand and all I got was a headache. _

_After a while I gave up on the magic for the most part. I still tried every so often just because I couldn't give up completely. As my wounds healed I adjusted to life as best I could. I had started working out and going over everything I had ever read or learned silently inside my head to stay bright. I quickly learned that there were many other people in the prison I could hear them cry or scream at all hours of the day, but no one talked. No one ever talked, I didn't know why but they didn't. Every so often I would see a Death Eater in full robe and mask walk through the halls usually preceded and followed by screams which wasn't surprising. The Death Eaters in their full robes and masks got screams everywhere else, why not in their own prison. _

_I had also begun counting my days in captivity I realized that the clasps of the wrist restraints made marks along the white wall. I still remember the final number 3936 days or ten years, nine months, two weeks and two days, from the time I started counting. Every time I woke from what I considered a night's sleep I would make a mark on the wall. I tried to sleep after I'd have three meals, then I would sleep for as long as I could. I'd wake up mark the wall and keep as busy as I could until a meal time. Meals were interesting they reminded me of muggle school food. A serving tray would magically arrive then disappear either once it was empty or when another meal was served._

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><p><strong><span>THIS IS YOUR 2nd WARNING AS PROMISED THERE IS MENTION OF RAPE IN THIS SECTION. NOTHING GRAPHIC BUT STILL THERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED TWICE.<span>**

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><p><em>Almost as soon as everything was healed from the forgotten torture session something else changed; something that will truly haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life. True I still hold my sanity, but that doesn't mean I'm not traumatized. One day I was working out, hanging off the top rail of the bunk bed, seeing as no one else ever joined me in the room. I believe all the rooms held only one person. However, that's off topic. While I was hanging from the top bunk, working on inclined sit ups and going over long division of large numbers in my mind, something like 684 divided by 72 which is nine and a half. Anyway, as I was pulling myself up an almost forgotten vibrating and buzzing randomly started around my clit surprising me in such a way that my legs came off the railing and I fell. I had been expecting to land on the hard cold unforgiving stainless steel floor, however when I felt the floor on my back I hadn't hit it with the force of a fall. Instead I had been apparated onto it in a very odd position. <em>

_My feet were flat against the floor and my knees were bent pulling my feet as close to my bottom as my flexibility allowed. My hands were flat against the ground to my sides and pulled straight so that they were along the sides of my bottom. I tried to sit up to see where I was, but the restraint around my neck remained firmly attached to the floor and choked me as I flexed my tired abs. The vibrating between my legs was driving me crazy doing things to my body no one ever had and it was confusing. My body shouldn't have been feeling like this, it was too much, with or without my say or enjoyment my body was going to be forced to orgasm. My eyes closed as tight as they could and I tried as hard as possible to hold my body in check, but it was a lost cause. I couldn't hold out forever and the spell on my clit probably could. I heard a door open and looked up to see a fully robed and masked Death Eater. I heard him laugh and it was a wicked laugh that sent chills through my body that counteracted the affect of the vibrating, but only slightly. I pulled my knees together as best I could to hide myself from his sickening gaze. Even though the man was counteracting the sensations in my body it was too late. I was going to have an orgasm no matter what and I could once again feel it pushing at the edge of all my restraint. My resistance faltered and an undesired orgasm ripped through my body as sobs escaped me and tears stained my face. I looked up at the Death Eater with a glare that was known to make men cover their balls and girls hide behind such men. Again he just let out a laugh that chilled me to the center of my heart. As I shivered he shifted and stepped further into the room without closing the door behind him. I could only look up at him and wonder what he was going to do to me. His actions answered my silent question as he slid his hands into his robe and pulled out his hardened penis. Realization hit me like a train. _

_Rape, that's what everything was about here, rape. I was going to be raped and I couldn't stop it for anything in the world. All I could do was try to grab on to something mentally to keep me from losing my sanity. I closed my eyes and searched my memory for anything that would do the trick and the answer came almost instantly in the memory of a friend. Someone I would do anything for. Someone I've loved since my fourth year. Someone who I dreamt of in more sexual ways than Ron or Harry would know combined with two different sexual position books. I looked upon the face of that person and I held on to it. The man raped me. You don't need that scene playing through your head just as much as I don't. How I was raped is not important to this story, but the fact of the matter that it happened is important. It's important to know I was raped and that through it all the memory of that face kept me sane. _

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><p><strong><span>THE PART CONTAINING THE RAPE IS OVER. THANK YOU FOR HEEDING MY WARNING.<span>**

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><p><em>Once the Death Eater finished my body was sore and abused; it felt almost as bad as it did after Bellatrix finished with me. I was then appararated to the medical room again and given another vaginal exam where they found nothing wrong and dropped me off back in my room. It was a while again before I felt the vibrations again, but once I did I was appararated back into that room and everything repeated itself, only this time it was a different man. Same routine forced orgasm, rape, and medical check. After that the rapes started happening more frequently and soon it happened once a day, and sometimes more than once a day. I started to recognize Death Eaters not by name or who they were of course, but by their eyes. Through their eyes I knew who had raped me before and who hadn't. I also started to notice certain patterns in the Death Eaters who raped me more often and when. I was able to predict most of the times when I would be used. Sometimes I was surprised with new users, but mostly I knew when and who and what would happen. <em>

_Often enough I would be beat as well; I think they were looking for a reaction out of me instead of what I gave them. When they beat me I'd open my eyes and look them in the eye. Eventually, I conditioned myself to only see those memories when I was being forced to feel things I didn't want to feel from anyone but the person in those memories. When I was beat the medic wizards would check my body over for any damage that would need attention. I tended to always have more bruised skin and muscles in various stages than healed healthy skin; I'd gotten used to that as well. _

_After a year or two I set into a routine. I was institutionalized and knew nothing of the outside world. I guessed that the war was still raging, or we had lost, seeing as all I ever saw were Death Eaters. After ten years I had given up on getting out; it wasn't worth worrying about it. I focused instead on my memories, determined to die with my sanity about me. They could take my body, my life, my heartbeat, my clothes and my comfort, but they would never have my intelligence, my sanity, or my memories. Those I would die with. I became so jaded that very little happened that I didn't expect. Occasionally I was caught off guard, but not often. _

Then one night I was surprised with someone new; the vibrating and buzzing woke me out of what little sleep I could get. I had been used rather hard that day, three Death Eaters used me and none of them were short or soft. I felt like I had been ripped in half a few times in every direction, quartered in an old fashion medieval way, and finally pounded back together with a hammer with my blood was used as the glue. Not that I ever enjoyed being raped, but sometimes it was more taxing than others, and I really wasn't in the mood to go through it again that day. I didn't even know if my body could orgasm again as it had been forced to so many times. The forced orgasms didn't stop with the first orgasm; they stopped when the vibrating stopped. The vibrating stopped when they were finished using me. So it went on for as long as the rape did, and I couldn't escape it for anything, the vibrating was a spell on my clit. There was no getting away from it.

I was exhausted and I wanted nothing more than to ignore the incessant vibrations and make them disappear. I kept my eyes closed tight in hopes that my wish would be granted so I wouldn't have to deal with this again. I pulled my arms and legs struggling against the restraints that I knew held me in place. This was of no use, the magical bonds held firmly in place just as I knew they would. I opened my eyes to look around the room. The vibrations on my clit were still just as maddening and had the same affect on me as when I first showed up. Nothing about it had worn down or become more bearable over the years, but my tolerance had gotten stronger. I could hold off the forced orgasm for longer now and the Death Eaters had to wait and watch, or start before the orgasm; something that many started doing after I was able to hold on longer.

The door opened and I looked up at the Death Eater. He was a new one for me, I hadn't seen him before. He was built differently than any of the others. He was tall but skinny. Honestly, he was lanky for a man, scrawny and tall with no meat on him. The loose robes didn't help; they looked like they had been hung on a walking coat stand. If he had been shorter it would look like a young boy playing dress up in his father's robes. He was strange. Nothing was really right about him. At the same time he didn't make my skin crawl like the others. He was almost hesitant, like he was scared to hurt me.

By that time I wouldn't feel anything as it would be happening to me. I would be too focused on my sanity, on that one thing that would keep me sane, those eyes that smile their laugh, the sound of their voice. I was so conditioned that as soon as anything sexual started my eyes would close of their own accord and my memories would overtake me. I would feel their hugs and relive the joy of watching them fly and play Quidditch. Most days I would zone out into my happy world of memories after I saw who it was just because I could. I'd wait for them to get ready, and then I'd be in la-la land, with those memories and lustful dreams of that face and those eyes. Whenever things would be at their worst I'd remember those eyes. Those magical deep blue gray eyes with electricity shooting through them that would be the last thing I would think of upon my death bed.

I closed my eyes and pulled up my memories that kept me sane until I felt something that was even more unusual than everything else. He dropped to his knees where he stood and landed between my legs. He just dropped to them like his knees gave out. His dick remained his pants which was odd since most of the Death Eaters pulled it out first. I watched for his hands to slide into his cloak and pull out his dick. He leaned over me; his entire body length was on top of mine. His body was shaking ever so slightly and his breathing was about as ragged as mine was. I could smell his breath and it was odd too. Unlike most of the Death Eaters that were here, his breath was not dripping with firewhisky or some other alcohol, he was sober and his breath was soft and warm and held no offence. Everything about this man was different and I didn't know why. Slowly I looked up into his eyes and when I did I knew I had lost every last shred of sanity the gods had ever graced me with.

When I opened my I was looking into the storm clouds full of lighting that was my sanity. Those eyes only went to one person; they went to the face of my memory, the one thing that kept me sane through the years, Ginny. Ginevra Molly Weasley had been my saving grace ever since the first time I was raped. She was the one I loved since I was in my fourth year. I would close my eyes and see her smiling face when I was being raped, imagining I could willingly giving myself to her instead. When I was working out, in my mind, she was watching and counting for me enjoying the show. When I would go over my schooling, she would be there studying with me, and I would teach her all I know. When I was sleeping, I dreamt of her keeping me safe and holding me through the night, talking to me and letting me sleep as she watched over me. Whenever I felt like I needed her she was there. I'd close my eyes and she was there and now I opened my eyes and those stormy blue eyes didn't change. I looked up at those eyes in amazement, and then I heard her voice. Nothing had ever sounded so wonderful. I wouldn't change the first words to touch my ears in ten years for the world. They were simple words, "I'm sorry Herm." At first the words didn't register and when they did I wasn't sure what they meant, but moments later it was driven home in a hard way. Somehow, some way a dick was shoved deep inside me. It hurt it was the last thing I was expecting, but then her hips started moving. Then I realized that Ginny Weasley was fucking me and everything changed. The girl I have dreamt about and loved for years is now fucking me. Not only did I think I'd never see her again, but never in all my fantasies did I actually think she would ever in reality truly fuck me. A feeling of pure bliss shot through me and grew stronger with every thrust of her hips. I bit my lip to keep from calling her name over and over at the top of my lungs. Instead it came out through clenched teeth in a growling moan. It surprised her, but she didn't stop. Amidst the pleasure, I felt things change my left leg was free to move. She was here to break me out. She was fucking me as a distraction from breaking me free. Then my right leg was free. The only thing keeping me from wrapping my legs around her and pulling her hips harder against me was what little smarts I still had functioning saying that such an action would give away Ginny's plans. Next, my right hand was free soon followed by my left. Her hips never faltering and she reached up to my neck and pressed down. I was choking for a moment and her eyes said she was sorry, but it was necessary. I was freed of the retched bonds that had held me for over ten years. Her hips shot forward in a small group of short thrusts that were meant to mimic a man coming in a woman.

She was going to pull out and stop. I was so close to my first wanted and needed wiling orgasm ever that was not brought upon by masturbation. I needed this to keep going and through still clenched teeth I whispered, "Please. Please Ginny. Please don't stop yet." Emotions flashed through Ginny's eyes that were unmistakable surprise, enjoyment, then a fire of passion. She pushed her hips harder as they dropped and hit a spot no one had ever touched inside me. White flashed across my eyes and they tried to roll back into my head, but I kept my eyes on hers staring into the lighting that was flashing through her eyes. Her hips shifted again and she started rubbing against that spot. Her hips thrashed against me so hard and fast that if it wasn't for the spot being rubbed and hit constantly I would not know she was moving at all. Suddenly I saw clouds, the most brilliant gray blue I'd ever seen streaked with living electricity. It was as if the lightning streaks of her eyes were packed into fireworks that were going off in front of my eyes. Streaks were shooting through the sky of my mind and hitting me sending the electric shocks through my body. I bit through my lip and tongue to keep from screaming her name and getting her caught and imprisoned along with me. The blood filled my mouth and ran down my face. Even though I was notorious for screaming her name when I was forced to orgasm I didn't need to add any unnecessary risk. The next thing I knew a hand was sliding under my back and another was under my legs. I was lifted off the floor and cradled against her chest and with a sudden whoosh I was apparated. At first I was afraid to look, worried that I had been apparated into the medical room. Suddenly I realized I was sick from the distance; I hadn't gone that far in over ten years. I knew I was out, but it wasn't until I felt the warm body and strong arms holding me that I opened my eyes. I was in Ginny's arms safe and warm, but then again I was also wrapped in a cloak of my own. Which was a good thing; I could see a good foot of snow on the ground from over Ginny's shoulder. I couldn't move to look around; I was still too exhausted from having my brains fucked out by the girl I love. I could tell she was running through an ally way, until she ducked into a door to a shop. I looked up at her face; she was still in her cloak and mask running into a shop carrying a girl in a cloak that looked half dead, even though I had never felt so alive. Either things had changed massively or she was going to terrify people as a Death Eater. I managed to roll my head to the other side to see where we were going. I immediately recognized the shop we were in; The Three Broomsticks. She ran up to the counter and was waved on by a shopkeeper. The day a Death Eater could run through a shop and be waved on by a shopkeeper was one I hoped I'd never see. We were met by three other Death Eaters and I thought we were caught when all of a sudden we all apparated at the same time. When we stopped I was looking into a familiar fire place. I was in front of the main fireplace of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Even though Dumbledore was the Secret-Keeper, and his death had made them venerable, I knew there was a new Secret-Keeper. This was the safest place in the wizarding world for me. No one could get me here. I don't know who the new Secret-Keeper was, but I knew I was safe. Ginny stood there for a few minutes panting and holding me I didn't mind I lay my head against her chest and looked into the fire. I could hardly believe that I was safe and here, away from where I had been captive for over ten years. She shifted and started to set me down, once my feet touched the ground my legs gave out. She scooped me back up and held me close. I turned in her arms to look at her.

Her mask was still in place and I reached up and grabbed a hold of it from the bottom. In one easy move I was able to pull off the mask and knock down the hood of the cloak finally seeing her vibrant red hair and her white porcelain skin mixed with her freckles. I looked up at her in relief and in turn she looked down at me with one of her small smiles. She started to turn away from the fire but I stopped her with a soft, "Wait." If she hadn't been holding me I'm not sure she would have heard me. She stopped and looked down at me turning to face the fire again. In my hand I still held the mask which I then tossed into the fire without a second thought. I heard her chuckle as we turned away and again I looked up at her to see an amused look on her face. She muttered a retrieval and repair spell which I'm sure pulled the mask from the fire and repaired any damage. At least she waited until I wasn't facing the fire anymore to pull it out, but that also told me she needed the Death Eater gear for something other than saving me. I prayed to the gods that the war was over and we had won but my hope was quickly dwindling.

There were so many things I needed to know. I had so many questions but they would have to wait for later. Right now I was being set down on a soft warm bed in front of a hot fire. I needed to sleep before anything else, and then food. Once again Ginny surprised me she didn't just pull the covers up around me and leave. Instead she pulled her cloak off and changed from her jeans to sweats. The lights went down and her shirt came off leaving her in a bra and her sweats. Then she slid into the bed beside me pulling me to her chest. She was soft, warm, and safe. I lay my head against her chest and listened to her heart softly beat under my ear. The sound and feel of her rhythmic heartbeat and slow breathing lulled me into a relaxed state I forgot I could achieve. There were two questions I figured I could ask before I fell asleep.

"The war?" It was a question I just had to know. It was eating me up inside.

"Over" her fingers started to run through my hair. "We won, but there are still a lot of Death Eaters we haven't rounded up. Voldemort is dead, so they just run underground Black Arts Operations."

That explained a lot. "Ron and Harry?" I just said their names softly hoping she would know the question.

"Working, they work most of the time rounding up Death Eaters. We all live here because it's safer." Her breathing was slowing and so was her heartbeat, she was drifting off to sleep. I knew what I wanted for now so I let go; between her heartbeat, breathing, and her fingers through my hair I was safe, warm, and asleep.


End file.
